What do they really know?

Last night, I rocked Lillian until she was completely zonked. As I transferred her to the bed, she didn't even move; her arms and legs fell limply at her sides and if I hadn't had her head in my elbow, it would have been limp, too, mouth gaping open.

For those who haven't heard, this is one of the big no-nos of mommyhood. In order to create good "sleep habits," you should always put your kid in their bed groggy but still awake so they can learn to fall asleep on their own.

And usually, I do. I can tell when she's ready to lie down. She usually asks for Daddy to give her a kiss, and once he leaves, we don't hear another peep until morning. But there are nights when it doesn't go that smoothly. I usually try to convince her to get in bed still slightly awake, but it can be a little traumatic for both of us. And last night, I just wasn't in the mood to fight it.

She was actually very good yesterday. We had a nice day with no major break downs (from her or me), and until Erik came home, she had been a perfect angel. For whatever reason, when he came in the door, she freaked out. Wouldn't go to him at all. If he talked to her, she ran away in hysterics. But at dinner, she decided he was ok again. So, like I said, except for that hour when she had a weird lapse in judgment, she was great. She willingly put on her pjs and brushed her teeth at bedtime. We gave Laddie a kiss and tucked Daddy in (he had to go back to work at 1:00 a.m. so he had an early bed time). We rocked for a while and then I went to put her in bed. She requested Daddy as usual, so I grabbed him just as he was drifting off. But apparently, she wasn't quite ready because after he left, she was out of bed asking for me. So rather than fight it, I rocked until she was out.

While we were rocking, I asked myself what doctors really know about anything. I understand it may be habit forming if your kid has to rock on your lap until they fall asleep, but is doing it occasionally going to really hurt anything? I rarely do it on purpose. Sometimes she's just so tired she's asleep before I've even settled in. But there are nights it's just better for my sanity to go with it, and if I do, it's usually after a particularly trying day, which is why it was weird she felt she needed it last night. It definitely hadn't been a trying day. And it can't be hurting her too badly. When my mom watched her on Valentine's Day, they started to rock, but when she was told Mommy wasn't there to do the rocking, she got off Nana's lap and climbed into bed of her own free will. Apparently, the appeal of rocking is cuddling with me, and who am I to tell my kid to stop loving me so much?

The question may have popped in my head since I'd sort of been thinking along those lines for a couple days anyway. I'm currently reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter about a doctor who sends his daughter away because she has Down's syndrome. It's set in the 60s and I guess that's what they did at the time, but really? Come on... There are several things wrong with that, especially telling his wife the girl was born dead. But I digress.

That, however, wasn't the only thing that had me wondering about doctors and their infinite wisdom. It describes the birthing process and they actually gassed the mother. My impression was that she was completely out of if for most of the labor. This wasn't just the numbing drugs we use today. That was what really made me wonder. 40 years later, the "in" thing is to go completely natural if you can; no drugs at all. You can even go really hippie if you want and get a mid-wife. J/K! But my point is, no doctor today would put a woman to sleep to have a baby naturally. I think women even stay awake during c-sections.

We put our trust in doctors because they're supposed to know better than we do. But in another 40 years, what procedures currently in use will we look at and think how uninformed we were. Not even 40 years from now: the advice for getting your infant into childhood has changed several times just in the last 20 years.

Which is why I've decided I'll rock my little girl to sleep occasionally when she needs the extra cuddle time. I doubt it will scar her for life, and I know there will be some day when she won't want to cuddle at all; I better take advantage while I still can. I'll stick to the battles that really do mean something, like not touching the oven or jumping from the landing to the floor or pulling Laddie's ears. Who knows? By the time Lillian has her own baby, that may be the advice they're giving anyway.