Our demon?

So after a two-month blog hiatus, I'm finally posting something. Was my life completely uneventful over the last two months? Probably not. Did I have the motivation to actually post anything of substance? Not one bit. But I don't really remember what happened over those two months, so I probably should have made some sort of effort to document what went on.

I'm over it.

We did get some new pictures of the kids recently, so I thought I'd share. I posted some to Facebook, but it feels more official to share them this way. :)

Looking at these adorable kids, you'd never know the turmoil we went through. The photo session started out pretty nicely. Lily was cooperative, and Timothy sort of stood where we asked. But then Timothy got bored and started wandering all over the studio. At one point, we were bribing him with jelly beans. Which worked for about 2 minutes until he caught on that we were getting what we wanted, too. For about a minute, though, he did walk over to his chalkboard fish and pose for us very nicely. While we were distracted on different background for Lily of course. But then he decided he just wanted to be held and putting him down resulted in a classic two-year-old tantrum. Not to mention one of the jelly beans happened to be purple and his face and shirt now had purple goo everywhere.

And once the chalk came out, that's all Lily wanted to do. We were able to convince her to do some more shots on a different background, but then suddenly she was done. She didn't want to do pictures, but she didn't want to leave either. A real problem (that was eventually resolved by physically carrying her out to the car). I told her it was ok to be done if she wanted, but she insisted she wanted to do some more. So we sat her on a cute pink ottoman to try a few more, but she just sat there and sulked. And she even chose the ottoman. What exactly are you supposed to do in a situation like that? Because I feel completely inept when they come up. Do I try to comfort and console her and try to fix the situation? And completely waste the time of the photographer? Or just tell her we're done and leave. At home, I would just ignore it, and she'd scream like a banshee and tell me how mean I am for putting her in time out for such an over-the-top reaction. But we're in PUBLIC. You can't let your kid do that in public. So I tried the comforting as long as I thought was appropriate, and then I carried her out kicking and screaming.

Not really the way I wanted the whole thing to go.

All I can say is, for a studio setting, I can't recommend the people at Whimsy Photography enough. It probably didn't hurt that we were a morning appointment on a Friday when they weren't super booked, but they were amazingly patient with our moody kids and made a real effort to get pictures we would like. They even offered to have us come back on a day when Timothy was in a better mood before we paid for anything. We ended up totally pleased with the final product, so we didn't take them up on it. But the offer was there.

But back to my moody kids. Really...any advice would be appreciated at this point. Ok: Timothy's a toddler and almost two. I understand his tantrums to some degree, and they're usually calmed by distracting him or ignoring the tantrum completely for a few minutes. And honestly, I think most of his stem from the fact that he understands everything we say, but he can't communicate back. It's a guessing game most of the time. Although I'm getting  better, and the words are starting to come, so hopefully, the end is in sight.

But Lily? She's a dang 5 year old! I asked her pediatrician at her checkup if it's normal to be so emotional. He basically told me adolescence starts in girls about this time.  Are you kidding me? If I have to deal with this for 10-12 more years, I won't make it. She's up and down, and you never know what will set her off. We try to say yes enough that she gets to choose things and activities and make her own decisions. And she's a pleasure to be with then. But as soon as she hears no, the demon is unleashed. And it just makes me want to say no more because why should I be nice at all when it all ends with the same melt down. In fact, she's been almost unbearable for the last month. Am I a terrible mother for even thinking that? Is it my fault? Is it just the way she is? She's always been "spirited," but now she's old enough to really assert herself and I just don't know what to do. And the books are no help. NONE! She won't calm down enough for me to try any of the tricks, and since what sets her off one day is no prediction of the next, I can't head her off before it happens.

But the times when she's not a demon? She is the nicest girl ever. She is the friendliest girl on the playground and can't understand why someone wouldn't want to play with her or that not everyone is really her friend. She helps all the little toddlers swing and go down the slides. She shares all her digging tools so everyone can play in the wood chips. She builds forts for Timothy and chases him around the house to make him laugh. She reads him books and helps him put on his jammies. And she feels everything so deeply...the good and the bad.

One thing I do remember over the last couple months is the purchase of Pop, Lily's betta fish. He's been living in a bowl on her bookcase for about 6 weeks or so. Maybe a little longer. Tonight when she went to feed him, as she has done faithfully since he came home with us, Erik had to break the news that he'd died. Her little heart was broken. She said she was going to miss him so much. And where do fish go when the die? Is heaven in the toilet?

I know (hope?) the over-emotional bit is a phase. And I know that the real Lily is the happy, loving, smiling one. I just wish we got to see her a little more some days. Or I could figure out the secret to locking up the other version. At any rate, thanks for reading the longest post in history (if you made it this far). I make no promise of future posts, but let's all cross our fingers.
 

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