Funk

Every year around this time, I fall into a funk, and I blame our education system. After 13 years of public school plus an additional 4 years of college, I came to expect, maybe even need, a break every summer. Most of the time, it was called spring fever. As a senior, it was called senior-itis. Whatever the name, in the weeks leading up to that glorious break I would always get antsy and uninterested in what was happening in the present in anticipation of those summer months, a change in the day-to-day drudgery and structure of school. And I actually liked school. It was just an unavoidable side effect, I guess.

Now, even though I graduated 6 years ago (oh.my.gosh...has it really been that long?), I still have that break ingrained into my routine. The problem is, of course, that I now live in the real world and don't get summers off. But I still get spring fever every year, usually sometime in May. I don't really want to do anything and don't find my normal activities as enjoyable, which is evident in my current lack of blogging and picture taking. (Maybe I get seasonal depression; I just get it in the spring rather than the winter). I get so bored with my routine and feel I need a change, but since there's no distinct, definite break in routine, I never get that change. I had kind of hoped our furlough in March would provide enough of a break to be a preemptive strike, but apparently not.

I usually snap out of it once the summer festivities and activities are in full swing, but while I'm in the funk, like I am right now, it's just depressing. So I'm trying to find ways to help mitigate my gloominess. First of all, I'm going to force myself to do things that I usually enjoy. I know that doesn't sound too enjoyable...why should I have to force myself to do something I normally enjoy? And I guess it's not so much forcing myself to do it as making a conscious effort to get back into those activities. Now that Erik has started his overnight rotation, I will have a couple hours every evening to myself once Lillian goes to bed. Rather than spend the entire time vegging (which is about all I seem to want to do lately), I'm going to make sure I spend at least a little time every night on a hobby...scrapbooking, craftiness, reading, sewing, photography, etc. Of course, one of my hobbies, if you could call it that, is watching movies, so I may do that periodically, too. Which means I might finally get through the first season of LOST and the other movies that are still in the shrink wrap. (I'm turning into Len!!)

My other plan of attack it to actually take some time off work without having anything actually planned. It seems like whenever I take a real vacation with definite plans, I go back to work feeling like I didn't actually take a vacation...it was too crammed full of activity. So, while our babysitter is taking her various time off over the summer, I decided to just take the same two weeks rather than try to work out who can watch Lillian and when. Hopefully two weeks of completely unstructured time will help me feel like I got a mini summer break, even if they aren't consecutive weeks. Lillian and I can spend the day at the park and going for walks and just generally enjoying the weather. I'm hoping we'll find enough to keep us busy out of the house since Erik will be trying to sleep during the day.

Most of all, I've decided I won't let this funk get me down. It's sunny and beautiful and who wants to spend spring all glum?